In five years I’ll be…

My life is at a standstill at the moment. I’m stuck and I’m finding it really hard to get out. I am currently living at home with my dad, brother, and sister. I have two jobs, working at a middle school and a high school. I get paid decent money for working little hours. I also get to do something that I really love and have tons of passion for, but I know that I can’t make a career out of it. I’ve been in this “funk” for a couple years now and I feel like I’m not going anywhere. I see my friends around me paving their way towards a their dream careers and I’m still here doing what I’ve been doing since high school. I’m not saying I’m unhappy, I’m content. I just want to see myself do something that will give me a future. As of right now, I don’t see a future for myself anywhere besides where I am now.

My plan is to get started at Solano community college and get all my general education done so I can transfers to UC Davis, all while continuing to teach color guard. This is ideal because my guard schedule can be fairly flexible to work around my classes. My only concern that I’ve run into before is, getting too focused on teaching and abandoning school altogether. I need to keep reminding myself that school should take top priority if I want to have a career. This should take me no more that 2.5 years to accomplish. The harder I work, the faster I can get out of SCC. Once I have completed my courses at SCC, I can then transfer to UC Davis where I’ll spend another 2 years completing any required courses for whatever major I decide on. Hopefully, I will be committed enough to stay in veterinary medicine or animal biology. Anything that involves animals, that is my dream job. Being a vet or an animal rescuer, these types of jobs are jobs that I would love to spend the rest of my life doing. UC Davis has one of the top veterinary programs in California. That being said, admission into that program is going to be extremely competitive. I will need to make sure I have top grades and then some, to even be considered. I can always apply elsewhere but, Davis is so close and I’ve always had my heart set on it. GO AGGIES!

To keep myself sane, I would like to continue to teach guard, or take dance classes, or even teach some dance classes for some extra cash. I know I will need some sort of creative outlet. I know Davis doesn’t have the greatest dance program but I want to have something. It would also be a great way to meet new people and make new friends. Maybe get back into vinyasa yoga, keep my body stretched. Maybe even take some classes in sac since it’s close enough.

By then, I’m hoping to have all my debts paid and have my drivers license. These are a necessity to push forward with my life. No more looking over my shoulder scared and afraid of the consequences. I’ll be a free man!

I hope to find that significant other, as times are getting lonelier. I’m going to need some one to confide in. If not a significant other, maybe a new friends or friends.

As for guard, my dream is to take a group to Dayton for one year. Maybe my last year teaching. It can happen! I have the support from the parents, I just need Brian to understand what this activity is all about and help push us to the top or at least near the top. I find myself getting better at what I’m doing. Finding new inspiration and exploring my own creativity. I want to leave and have my presence there have a big impact at that program. Fairfield has always been good but I want to take them to that next level. This is the right place to do it.

To the point, in five years I want to have a stable and happy life. I want to be on my journey to establish my future career. I want to be financially stable, and have good credit. I want to be moved out on my own and start living that “single life.” I want my creativity to peak to its highest. I want to meet new people and have new people in my life, as well as the old ones. I want to meet that special someone. I want to keep focused and stay on course towards my future. I want to make my dad and mom proud. I want my dad to see that I am capable to being something more. I want to be able to provide for him. I want to pay him back for all he has done and show him how much I appreciate him. I want to live that American Dream!

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New Year, New Me?

At the start of each year, I think about a few resolutions for myself. I absolutely never fall through with them. Shocker! But I think this year will be different. This year I will be writing those resolutions down and I will document them through this blog. Hoping this will motivate me to getting those resolutions accomplished. I am now at a stage in my life where I need to make change to better my life in order to have the future I have imagined. Here is my list of resolutions that will help make my future that much clearer.

LOSING WEIGHT: This is something that everyone plans for themselves. I know I’ve said it year after year, but I never had the will power to bring myself to do it. This year, instead of trying to “lose weight,” I’m going to change that to “healthier lifestyle.” In order to lose the weight I’m going to have to make some changes with my diet choices. Losing weight is 80% diet and 20% exercise. I am currently on day 7 of a detox cleanse, trying to get rid of that waste inside while shedding a few pounds in the process. Hopefully after this cleanse, I can train my pallet to eat more cleanly. More fruits, more veggies, and all that good stuff. As well as cutting down my carb intake, meaning, no pasta or bread. Which is a bummer because I love Italian food. Completely cutting out fast food and soda is what I always tribe for. Unfortunately, I’m always on the go, so I’m bound to stop by a drive thru every now and again. I don’t expect this to happen all overnight, but my goal is to gradually develop these better habits. It may take 6 months or it may take a whole year, but it will be better for me in the long run.

EXERCISE:I am a dancer and that’s how I like to exercise. I’ve tried running, I hated it. I’ve done vinyasa yoga, I enjoyed it but I wasn’t getting the results I wanted. I started looking up different exercises to do and I came upon blogilates.I’ve been doing that for a while because it has specific videos that focuses on what part of your body you want to tone up. I’ve been keeping up with it but I’m still not getting the results want. So I’ve done more research on exercises that I could do to burn more calories more quickly. Bike riding came up, I love being outdoors in the fresh air. I am fortunate to live near the Napa Valley. They offer bike rentals and tours for you to take. A person can burn from 750 to 900 calories in just one hour of bike riding. All those calories while basically sitting? Hell yes! Other forms of exercise that burns calories quick are, swimming and jump roping. Both I intend of giving a try. Here’s to getting that body I’ve been wanting!

GETTING BACK TO SCHOOL:I’ve hated school all throughout high school. I never found the motivation to try. So after high school I went straight to work. Helping out my family as much as I could. Circumstances arose making it harder and harder for me to get back to school. No time and no money. I just watched both of my friends transfer to university while I’ve barely dipped into community college. I’m twenty two years old and if I don’t start now it will be too late. My friends have inspired me to get back to school. Having a stable job with a stable income, I can finally begin my education again. I hope to take a few classes during the summer and be ready for registration in the fall. Ready, set, LEARN!

PAY OFF DEBTS:I have made a few mistakes in my life and I am regretting them everyday. I won’t explain in detail what, but I will tell you how I expect to handle those debts. I’ve listed them down and prioritized them. I’m already in the process of paying off two debts. I’m expecting to get a raise from my job starting in the fall, which will help get them paid off sooner. I also plan on speeding my money wiser. I’ve been doing well the last few months. I don’t go out to eat as often and gas has been super cheap! This will be a slow and miserable process but it must be done. I need some good credit in my life!

READ MORE BOOKS:I haven’t read a book in about 4 years. I finally decided to pick up a book just last week called, “Cinder,” a trilogy that is set into the future that incorporates Disney storylines: Cinderella, Red Riding Hood, and Rupunzel. It’s been such a great read. I’ve already blasted through book one and I’m now into book two. I expect I’ll be finishing the trilogy in the next month. I may write a review of the books in the future. I also need to make a list of books I want to read. Reading books is my escape from reality. It keeps my sane.

FLEXIBILITY AND TECHNIQUE:My body is to the point where it can’t go any further. I am in search for any way to better my flexibility. For a time, I’ve been stretching my over splits every night for a week, but the changes never internalized to my body. I just want to be able to kick my face with little to no effort. Is that too much to ask? Besides trying to improve my flexibility, I want to take more technique classes. I want to have better turns. I want to be able to turn on both sides. It’s hard to find classes that offer what I need in my area but I am determined to get there.

My hopes by posting my New Years Resolution on here is for me to able to have something too look at throughout the year. Seeing if I’m doing what I can to make these things happen. If I can get these done this year, 2015 will be the best year! Cheers 2015, I’m ready!

Looking back on 2014…

What can I say about 2014? It definitely had its ups and downs, which every year has, but for the most part it was pretty uneventful. Let’s start from the beginning. Already to a shitty start, my two best friends were going to be transferring to their new colleges. While they got to move to a different city and start fresh, making new friends, experiencing life away from home, I was left behind by my lonesome in this, wait for it, “ratchet” town of Fairfield/Suisun. I blame them for this dull year. With my friends gone, I indulged myself with work. I would wake up, go to work, come home for a little lunch, then head over to my other job. Lather, rinse, repeat. That was my life for months on end. I hated every moment not having my two main supporters right by my side. What was I to do? The answer was nothing. I couldn’t tell my friends not to go. I couldn’t hold them back. So, I just had to deal.

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I wish I could say that working and keeping busy helped me get through the year, but it only added stress. This was my first year being the caption head at any school I taught. I felt I needed to prove myself as an instructor. With that mindset, I went off the deep end. So stressed about producing the best show, I would snap at my students for the smallest things. I would go into work and not want to be there. When I look back at those moments at rehearsals, I wanted to kick myself in the butt. I made a fun and happy environment into a place where people were resenting each other. I felt like a slave owner trying to whip my students into the way I wanted them. It wasn’t right! In the end, I learned a huge lesson that, pushing someone where they didn’t want to be pushed can only end in disaster.

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After having a not so great season with my students I had summer to look forward to. I love feeling the heat from the sun on my skin and just being able to relax without having to worry about work. Summer also meant that my two best friends were going to be home. Or so I thought. I had planned so many adventures that we were going to do but turns out, my friends were going to be too busy. One with work and the other decided to take the summer session at her college. Again, I felt so alone. This time I was going to put my foot down, I demanded for them to make time for me. I got backlash from them of course. It was a struggle but we managed to plan some adventures. We went to SF Pride! The first year we went as a trio. It was a blast, and having those two come support their gay made me feel not so alone anymore. It wasn’t the greatest summer I wanted but, it was lovely nonetheless.

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Unfortunately summer was coming to an end. The feeling of being abandoned again was drawing near, but some good news came just in time. I landed another job, teaching at high school this time. What I’ve been wanting for a while now. Getting the chance to work with experienced students and not having to spend so much time on training, it made me excited. Working with those students brought new inspiration back into my life. It challenged me creatively and I loved every moment of it. The pay wasn’t bad either. Having this new inspiration, it flowed over into my middle school group. Rehearsals were going more smoothly and the students were enjoying themselves. I felt I was getting back into the groove of things. The season looked promising. For the rest of the year I focused on work but in a way where I wasn’t killing myself trying to prove anything to anyone. For the first time in my life, I felt like I was going somewhere. I felt stable. I felt happy. I felt accomplished.

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I’ve realized that I shouldn’t care about what others think of me or my work. I do what I do because its my passion, whether they love it or hate it. As for my two best friends, I have accepted that we are all growing and blossoming into three different people. Each of us taking a different path. I understand now, that we aren’t always going to be there for each other and that’s completely okay. Realizing and understanding that, made me a happier and more content person. I still get lonely, from time to time, but I know they are only a phone call away. In the end, having a dull year wasn’t such a bad thing. I feel that this will make 2015 that much more spectacular. I will name 2014 the year of the official threshold into adulthood.

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